Show us some ballet Riley!
By Amanda Lynn

As all you Buffy fans know, Riley Finn joined us in season 4 and took away a little over a season of our lives, in which some of us truly were full of frustration.
So what exactly is it about Riley that the majority of us just can’t stand? Was it his relationship with Buffy that happened so suddenly after the departure of our beloved Angel? Or is it the fact that he may just be able to pull off a role as a ballerina in a pink tutu?
I think there are many reasons why we just can’t handle seeing “captain cardboard” as nicely put by Spike.
If you got the chance to warp yourself back in time to the Buffyverse, at say…the time of “Where The Wild Things Are,” upon meeting Riley what would your first reaction be?
a) Shake hands with him and wish him many a good time with the bonking of Buffy.
b) Smack him one.

I think I speak for the majority when I say Riley never deserved Buffy. Someone needs to ask him “What is your childhood trauma!?!?” How STUPID would a guy have to be to split when times get rough?
Speaking of childhood traumas, I spent a few seconds researching Riley’s childhood to try and pinpoint exactly what it is that made him the way he was. By the way, that is time I can never regain. My findings showed me that it was not Riley’s fault that many people ended up hating him. It all started with his birth. Something terrible happened to him that would affect his and the lives of many others from this point on…he lived. The doctors tried to poison him…but all that did was shrink his brain. They tried to throw him down the stairs but his bottom was too cushioned and he just bounced down. The two children doctors, only 6 and 7 years of age had no degree, so this led to him to being deprived of oxygen at birth. His brother and sister pulling him out brought him into this world.

He called Buffy self-centered.
So what if she didn’t want him in the way of harm? He should be grateful she liked him enough to let him tag along behind her and her Slayer strength. The only conclusion I could come to is that Buffy is more manly than Riley and he was afraid of that. The question is did Buffy actually like Riley? Was Riley just Buffy’s ‘sex bot’? Did he look good to her? Notice on Buffy’s arrival at UC Sunnydale he was one of the first walking males she interacted with. He didn’t even seem to take much notice of her at first. Something makes me wonder whether she has some sort of psychic power. To know she should drop that book on his head. I think it’s very possible. All you males out there, would you walk past Buffy in favour of showing someone where a book is? I think not.

Many believed Buffy would never have another relationship with a guy after Angel had left. Then when she did, they were sure it would only be short lived. I was surprised that the fling with Riley took some time to end. So why did it take him so long to go crying back to the jungle, which by the way wasn’t really the jungle, it was more like his mum’s house. Mummy’s boy. Did he think he had a chance with Buffy and they might get married or something? The guy had a cry over the fact that he didn’t make Buffy cry! Who is self-centered now! I thought a relationship was about making another person happy and them doing the same in return. How many times did Buffy save Riley and how many times did he go and whine about it? If I were her, I would have left him for the fish.

Riley is not and never was man enough to fulfill his role as a man.
Now don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with Marc Blucas himself, only the disappointment that is Riley Finn. I know there are some Riley fans out there probably reading this right now wanting to kill. My intentions are not to cause controversy but rather to simply state my opinion on the matter. I have come to the conclusion that Riley is a girl…

By Amanda Lynn (BuffySlayAngel)
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